Sunday, November 9, 2014

The Bitch is Back

I'm back bitchesss!

My latest adventure is Beauty College. Carrying on the legacy of Momma Cox or whatever last name she's going by these days. So you would think in beauty college it would be a bunch of girls that dress cute and care about their appearance since they will be working on other humans. Well you and I both thought wrong. 

These bitches show up to school with no makeup and their hair deff not did, and most of the time in sweat pants. I mean come on! I don't want anyone working on my appearance if their appearance isn't to par. So you are only supposed to be in basics for 6 weeks which is where they teach you the basics of haircutting, coloring, etc. Then you take a test and move onto the floor where you get to work on actual people until you graduate. I'm about to give you some info on some bitches I have came in contact with while on this adventure so far. 

Prison Girl- 27 year old convict who went to prison for stealing a prescription pad from a doctors office she worked for and wrote herself a prescription for a shit ton of oxy. Has two kids who live with her grandmother and the bitch lives elsewhere with a shit head she has been dating for about four months who she calls "her babe". Gets free money from "The Man" and choses to buy cigs and shit for herself instead of using it on her kids and necessary shit. Gets to go to school for free and choses to never show up. Wonders why people dress up and look presentable for school. Wears sweats and her fat ass gut hangs out of the bottom of her shirt because she likes to be comfortable in her school environment. Exact words from this bitch btw. 

So I just say to myself what would Jesus. Well be nice to homegirl of course. So I try this for the first three weeks or so and I finally get fed up with Prison Girl. She misses school at least two or three times a week(school is only 4 days a week). Every week when we would go over different things she would always want us to do stuff for her but she would never want to do anything for us. The bitch would leave before we would have to clean up every day. She constantly tells us pointless shit thats going on in her life. So we all ignore her when she was actually there. This bitch misses so much school that she ends up being in basics for 9 weeks. The week I finally get to graduate from basics. This week is when her name changed to Prison Bitch. She thought she was going to steal my station but the bitch was wrong. She hasn't been back to school since the first day she got on the floor. Dumb bitch.. 

Jitter Bug- Newest girl. ADD/ maybe crack head or recovering crack head. Can't sit still. Talks extremely fast. Has a fucked up relationship with Husband and boyfriend. 

Okay so there is now four of us in Basics and I have to be paired up with Jitter bug. It's nail week and she has to do a manicure on me. This girl takes about an hour to paint my damn nails as she's shaking the whole time. Every time she tried to clean the paint from around the nail she takes off half of the damn nail polish and ends up having to take all the damn nail polish off and redoing them! Longest damn day of my life! Then the next day I had to do a pedicure on homegirl. She couldn't sit still! She kept moving in the damn chair and twitching her toes! I had to hit the bitch a couple times and tell her to quit! 

Friday I finally graduated from basics and now I get to be on the floor! Tuesday I get to work on my first client! I'll keep yall updated.

Bitchiness, Sweet Tea and Love yall,

Thursday, January 10, 2013

The Joys of Being a Child

So today it actually hit me that I will be moving into my own place tomorrow. The shit that comes with that is horrible though.. 
No one to yell for when I'm scared
No sister to watch Family Guy with until 4 in the morning on netflix
No one to sleep with me, or even make me food. 
Hell I will even have to pay bills. Realizing I'm an adult sucks ass! Hey but at least I'm living by myself. Also having Cash I feel like I have a child. I'm about to pull my hair out.
 He is like me but in dog form. He bites, bitches, gets pissed when you take his food, and he sleeps a lot. He better be lucky he is cute as hell or I would have probably killed him by now. 
So I figured with age my temper would get better, at least thats what people keep telling me. Obvi they lie! My temper is wayyy worse now. I was a bitch before but now it's a lot worse. I'm like bitch times 3!
Bitchiness, sweet tea, and love yall

Monday, January 7, 2013


Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. 
Actually I'm not. I've been pretty busy. A couple days ago I got my little french bulldog puppy Cash.
He's very adorable but since I got him I have to move out. I move into my apartment friday. Hello Work Aubrey and Cash on their own! I'm pretty excited about this journey. Actually being in a house that is quiet. Shittt. I'm totally on that bullshit. Nothing about Cash is quiet. I feel as if I have a child. I'm okay with that though since he's cute. 
So since I have to live on my own now I have to get a job. Aubrey apply for walmart, Aubrey apply for walgreens, aubrey, aubrey, aubrey. Guys chill! I'm pretty sure I would get fired from both of those jobs!  We all know I'm not exactly a people person. 
Only a couple more days until I'm out in the world on my own! I'll keep yall updated on that. 
Broke bitch probs.
Bitchiness, sweet tea, and love yall
Aubrey Jo!

Friday, December 28, 2012

Life as I know it.

This just so happens to be my first blog so yall don't be too harsh on me. 
My name is Aubrey Jo. 
My favorite color is black and my favorite animal is a cow. Love em!
I am a proud republican!
I have a bit of a temper. Okay who am i kidding? My temper is HUGE! Somehow everyone and their damn dog know how to piss me off. I also have super bad road rage. Sorry bout me. On rare occasions I'm really nice. Don't expect that too often. My bestfriend is Lyric but I call her Blackey. She's mixed. I'm not racist at all so don't pull that shit on me. I never thought I would have a bestfriend that is complete opposite of me but we can be with each other 24/7. She is trying to teach me the thug life but I think everyone can guess how thats going for a little white girl like me.
Epic Fail? Yeah I think so too.
Bitchiness, sweet tea, and love yall,